...it's the new Taser C2! For less than the cost of an iPhone you can own a piece of personal protection that's purely priceless. With a range of 15 feet, a lithium ion battery good for up to 50!!! uses (in case you just happen to be a scumbag magnet), and available in designer colors it's the latest family protection device brought to you by Taser International Inc. (TASR).
Recently released (and causing stock prices to rally) this newest product line is smaller, sleeker, and sports a "non-gun design" (just so police won't do an Amadou Diallo on your ass). This baby can penetrate up to 2" of clothing and has a 95% effectiveness rate. But wait...the Taser C2 also has a laser-guided aim!! Need I say more? In case you're wondering; "Doesn't this open the door for every maniac and/or sadist in the world to carry around a taser?" You'll be relieved to know, these weapons can only be activated after the purchaser passes a background check.
Screw the iPhone, I know what I'm getting my wife for christmas. Check out the taser in action.
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